BMMI Episode 086: Skeleton War

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It’s our unofficial 100th episode! We take the opportunity to use this anniversary to properly express our deep seated obsession with skeletons and their absence on the silver screen. We’ve been given the rights, unofficially, to the Skeleton Warriors franchise and you know we’re going to use this platform to tell a sympathetic story of skeletons who just want to free the world of meat prisons.

LISTEN TO EPISODE 86→

BMMI Episode 084: Game of Chairs

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It’s finally here. What everyone has been waiting for. The bound-to-be-a-hit low-budget Game of Thrones knock-off, Game of Chairs. The gang’s all here: Lady with snake eggs incubating in her desk, bald gossipy guy, gossipy guy with little fingers, long-haired man with dog, and the 150 other employees we all know and love but sometimes forget the names of. Watch as the office crumbles, alliances are born and broken, blood is spilled and people are kicked down holes, all so one may sit upon the only comfortable chair in the office.

LISTEN TO EPISODE 84→

BMMI Episode 083: A Grandma’s Purpose (or A Skeleton’s Purpose)

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Introducing the next logical step in the A Dog’s Purpose franchise: A Grandma’s Purpose (or A Skeleton’s Purpose). In moments of hardship or peril, all throughout their life, a person finds a kind grandmotherly type stepping in from out of the woodwork to do what grandmas do best–Knit a warm scarf, bring them some milk and cookies, save them from a rock climbing accident, bring them some calcium supplements, and making sure they go their entire life without breaking any bones. Sometimes a grandma’s purpose and a skeleton’s purpose align. This film can be seen from either viewpoint; the grandma who possesses the skeleton or the skeleton that dwells within the grandma.

LISTEN TO EPISODE 83→

BMMI Episode 082: Bread: The Most Boring Man in the World

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Take a moment and picture the most generic, dull, and utterly humdrum person that you can bother to imagine. Do you have a clear picture? Well, that person doesn’t hold an untoasted piece of white bread to Bread: The Most Boring Man in the World.

When the world depends on Bread to make anything but the most boring decision he somehow inexplicably, as if called by the God of Boredom itself, decides to intake another sitcom rerun. Fans of The Matrix will notice the subtle and constant homage of the red pill/blue pill scene that is featured heavily throughout the film.

LISTEN TO EPISODE 82→

BMMI Episode 081: Blue Jeans

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Jeff made a deal with a trickster demon for a magic pair of pants. Unfortunately, Jeff became the magic pair of pants and the trickster demon became Jeff. Now this sentient pair of pants must become the trickster as Jeff the pants must possess an unwitting pants-wearer to make another trade.

What do you call a sad pair of pants? Jeff!

LISTEN TO EPISODE 81→

BMMI Episode 080: Sonic Origins

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Gotta go faster! This week we realize the loophole in making a Sonic the Hedgehog movie without getting in trouble with the other Sonic movie being made: You just have to release it faster. He says it right in his catchphrase.

This Sonic is everything you want in a live action Sonic movie. He’s HD with 4K textures and you can experience it right now with your ears. This makes it a faster Sonic and therefore a better Sonic.

LISTEN TO EPISODE 80→

BMMI Episode 077: Love Under Fire

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Here’s a romantic movie that comes with a thrilling twist. When two star-crossed online friends are both too shy to make the first move, one decides to push themselves to make the offline leap by any means necessary. One of them thinks they’re meeting in person for a hotel weekend getaway, the other is plotting daring feats of bravery and cunning to get over their awkwardness. They’re putting their love to the test–a stress test–to hasten the bonds between them, by putting their lives on the line. It’s Love Under Fire.

LISTEN TO EPISODE 77→